closing time

It's funny. It's funny how I feel empowered after a few drinks. everything is funny after a few drinks. I'm yearning for everything that has legs and a pulse. I want my heart to swallow my face, remind me that we are temporary. this life needs to pull my hair, drip its perspiration on my …

important and ugly

oh you know... beauty is a term that means a million things to a million people. there are fetishists and perverts who idolize it. artists, models, actors and actresses, poets, musicians, the homeless, the disabled, people in comas, people with too much money, gorgeous flawless people, scarred and scared people who wish they were something …

quitting smoking has been HELL. I went to see Burlesque last night with a bunch of goths and let me tell you, it was beautiful and horrible and Los Angeles is quite a city. I "networked" which was foreign and tasty and strange and exciting. Cigarettes. My lovers. My mistress. I miss you. I'm gonna …

900 soldiers

He’s like 5 feet tall, my father. Funny how he used to look like a giant to me. At four years old, he was my best friend. When he could, he’d take me swimming and buy me clothes while he did his rounds as a bus driver on them dirt roads, from Santa Ana to …

sadness circa 2014

I mostly want to die. I love you more than anything but dying feels more comforting cause then I won’t have to get up in the morning. I can’t blame my past or my misuse; it’s genetic and feels deeper than blood. I wish I were docile, I think I’d enjoy me more. It’s ok. …