A Gift of Time “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”-Khalil Gibran- One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple. ” -Jack Kerouac- “Entonces disfruta tu dolor. Aprovéchalo ahora que eres joven. Y sufre, hijo mío, sufre todo lo que puedas,…… Continue reading the beginning
Here is my truth. I wish I had a song to sing or a dance to dance— but I only have words. Here, this is it. Everyone is selfish and dishonest. Making excuses. The priest, your dad, the man, the woman, you. We reject what we don’t remember, for example see how we make our…… Continue reading Here is my truth
It’s one of those memories that feels unreal now. It was 2005 and I was at Coachella waiting for NIN to come on. I was by a huge papier-mâché baby somewhere on the side of the stage. I was high, I think. I must’ve been high. Someone must’ve offered me something and I had smoked it. I…… Continue reading Coachella 2005
The kitchen is hot, the oven is on and a shepherd’s pie cooks. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan sings to me, like he has sang to me for so many years. I found him like one finds a favorite word. I went to the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in 1994 and watched “Natural Born Killers” with my…… Continue reading music is a rite of passage
Today I finished my book ‘Menses.’ I started it last November when I was sick with the worst flu I’ve ever experienced in my fucking life. I had a fever for 10 days. A headache that hummed in my head for 15 days. Body aches as if I had been hit by a car. I…… Continue reading fin.
Day 41 of this “yoga challenge.” Have I lost weight? I don’t know, I don’t ever weigh myself. I rely on how far down I can bend, or how good my clothes fit. I feel good, with pangs of strangenesses pummeling my body. A migraine, a sharp pain in my gut, a broken finger, a…… Continue reading the finite self is a lie and I’m yawning
The start of Fall, Libra season. The last time anything felt “normal” was in March—Pisces season, when the planets were in retrograde and I was at a bar at midnight on a Wednesday after a shift at work. Today, I am unemployed, sober, and looking forward to the equinox and all the memories this time…… Continue reading they’ll clap when you’re gone
I did it—again, I left two out of three social media(s). I feel triumphant and lame, mostly because it seems like such a benign thing to “accomplish.” But, my everything is suffering. I feel beat down and most people know me as the smiling woman and right now all I wanna do is cry. I’ve…… Continue reading bye Instagram. bye Facebook. sup Twitter?
Yes folx, I did it. I made the move. It was hard to do it, mostly because I thought I was losing integrity. But, quite the opposite feeling took over me, and I am so grateful to be doing this. I already write daily, so—that part is easy. Here is the link in case you…… Continue reading Patreon!?
Billie Holiday plays from the record player, and my tie-dye shirt is baffled at the contrast, at the serenity of the music and the chaos of the traffic below, where does the clarinet fit in? Fears, well they, they are the end of everything. I have so many and I am constantly reminded that I…… Continue reading a day like any other day