i was pregnant once, maybe thrice.

i think most women carry children in them,

even if they’ve never fucked.

these children scream, 

chaotic wails in the craters of their teeth,

in the cleft of their eyes.

yes, i realize i say this all the time.

men get pregnant too, 

only their children resemble fists.

the women then, 

with their mouths and teeth and eyes, 

erect a church to baptize all these children in. 

they sing hymns as they carry all the weight of insufficiency.

they murmur hate in the key of misery.

haven’t you heard that self-sabotage is a conspiracy?

none of this is real.

you were never here.