[instead of celebrating 79 years of being alive, my mother told me it’s been 70 years she’s been working] poem #4

Please stay a little longer

so that I can take you

to IN ‘N’ OUT and have us sit in a park

while time swings—

I have a few memories of us alone, but not many—

I thought I loved my father more‚ but now

as a woman doing woman things, I love you best

He never treated you the way he should’ve—

I understand your need to scold him—make him pay

for all the love he gave to

others and all the times he went astray—I get it now

your hate—your secret garments from a man you never got the chance to let love you—

I always thought you hated me, because I sat as a reminder of a night you fought hard to forget

I understand—please, hate me all you want

I love you still—

You did the only thing you knew you could,

you couldn’t bring yourself to kill me before I even grew—

thank you—

But please, do anything you must to heal—

curse me, or him—

forgive, discard, retrieve—

do it until the pain is lessened—

do it while time, swings gently

on our smiles.

Do it before you forget, you are allowed—