death part

this is a manifest,

in its primal definition 

manifest (adj.)

late 14c., “clearly revealed to the eye or the understanding, open to view or comprehension,” from Old French manifest “evident, palpable,” (12c.), or directly from Latin manifestus “plainly apprehensible, clear, apparent, evident;” of offenses, “proved by direct evidence;” of offenders, “caught in the act,” probably from manus “hand.”

yes,

not a manifesto, 

but a manifest

to the cadaver of my abuser,

because like they once lived 

they also died, 

and I got to see it in my lifetime,

a big blur happened when my father announced it under his breath,

I often believe he killed him 

fantasized the how,

but no, 

my father is a good Mormon, 

recovering alcoholic, 

a man who rarely wore shoes in his youth,

his feet are twisted like tree roots, 

he moves and sways like trees do too,

a dancer, 

he taught me to pretend I could fly, 

reminded that the ground beneath me sweltered

that life was meant to be danced the whole way,

but,

the coldness always seeped through him, 

and the warmness never stayed,

so I relied on warmth from other hands,

regardless of where they landed/

this is a manifest,

in its antiquated definition,

manifest (adj.)

late 14c., “to spread” (one’s fame), “to show plainly,” (adj.) or else from Latin manifestare “to discover, disclose, betray.” Meaning “to display by actions.”

yes,

not a manifesto, 

but a manifest

to the men I should’ve never fucked,

to the men I should’ve never stayed with and the women that I pushed away

it’s always hard to see mistakes as they are happening, 

it’s always hard to do the right thing because you could always say it was part of the process

I still often danced around commitment, 

because usually, 

it came with absence

and dancing always helped keep one foot in, 

and one foot out,

now, 

I’m 

     a 

          l 

         i  

n                

                 g

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