I never wanted children. I never played with dolls; I never coddled them or wanted to take care of them. I cut their hair real short and made them have lesbian sex.

I made them have threesomes with other stuffed animals and drape them with ridiculous outfits.

I’d open them and re-stuff them, hold them at night mostly because of loneliness, not for an aching need to take care of something.

The years skimmed by and everyone began to have sex and spit out children like baked bread. Not just one kid, but several. I’d see young mothers in continuation school with a history book in hand and a baby on their lap.

It was terrifying.

One boy got HIV. Others got herpes, chlamydia etc…

I was so scared, and luckily pretty unattractive. So at the very least, I had some leeway into safety. I was also friends with the town faggot, so I was shunned straight-away.

Dubbed a lesbian since I dressed in boys clothes.


It’s fucking comfy.

I guess playing lesbian Barbie with friends didn’t help.

The fag was great though, at the time. He and I broke fag-hag/faggot barriers in that pathetic little town. We’d stay up nights high on meth, smoking cigarettes outside my balcony.

We’d make up B-movies in my living room and take the bus to the beach.

We charged the neighborhood children money to watch porn in the comfort of his house since his parents owned a video store and were always home late. Funny what you can get away with while puberty is lightning strong.

Anyway, I never wanted children. I’d rather get a pug.

A beauty of a pug, too with an apricot fawn coat and a flat squishy face that I’d adore till it died.

I’d give it the attention I never got, minus the teen-parent-drama. It’d love me every day the same and never talk back or do drugs. It’d sleep and snuggle next to me and never get sick of the same food.

I’d name him Socrates, since the man was stocky & short, with bulging eyes and a snub nose. It’d be fitting. Like most philosophers and pugs alike, he’d showcase ignorance and end up looking like a fucking genius.

Yes, I’d rather have a pug. I never wanted children.

Except for when I did.

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