I have this full length mirror, a housewarming gift from a friend.

It swivels up and down and it doesn’t stay put unless I lean it against a wall. I keep it dirty, full of dust, thwarting my very existence when I look at myself through it.

I stay long periods of time looking at my imperfections, my gluten bumps that appear randomly on my ass, thighs, arms, and head.
I am not attractive, the mirror agrees.
I am merely blessed with words and the monthly occurrence of menstruation which makes my features nuanced.

It makes every woman’s features nuanced.

I’m not special.
Although I’d like to think I am.
My body is full of scars and burns and bites and I dress it in velvet and lace to throw off its gloom.

It can’t suffer all the time; it needs some sort of relief.

Walking around in this body I’ve at least come to understand that I was built to last. Sturdy shoulders and legs.

I’m the mule, the horse in case of the apocalypse.
I was once told I’d make a good meal, and if extended long enough, I’d last for days on my legs alone.
These are the type of compliments I get.
I’d like to think this makes me tasty,

worthwhile…

appealing

special

 
At least fuckable,

everyone wants to be fuckable, right?

 

 

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