It is 12:12 a.m. "Angel number 1212 symbolizes your spiritual growth and awakening, manifestation of your dreams, and awareness of your infinite being. You should continue to remain positive frame of mind and steer your thoughts in the direction of your dominant ambition." Ok internet, I will take heed. I will remain in this positive headspace for …

Heaven sounds like “Girl, to be with you is my favorite thing, yeah Uh huh And I can’t wait till I see you again,”…

I knew it'd be the cigarettes. I went from 2 a-day, to 10—to 20 to 40— I knew it'd be the cigarettes. Everyone warned me. I didn't care. I enjoyed them. Savored them. Used them to relax and remind myself of my to-do lists. It was a beautiful life with those cigarettes. They provided me …

All I do is sleep, eat and think about when I’ll write my next poem…

“my body feels better,—healthier.” I say with a faded smile. “But life holds no meaning.” I sigh into his palm, kissing the open torso of it. A flaxen crumb on the corner of my tongue sits like a dull ache; all sentiments of my sensitive jaw swallowed/ simple gestures of profound, of mundane— I am …

day 15

We didn't make it past today the last time we tried to quit cigarettes. We almost got a divorce only one month into this marriage. My mind got paranoid, and I began to play out scenarios of him leaving, of me not being enough, of us not having the strength to endure all of the …