Today I finished my book 'Menses.' I started it last November when I was sick with the worst flu I've ever experienced in my fucking life. I had a fever for 10 days. A headache that hummed in my head for 15 days. Body aches … Continue reading fin.
Day 41 of this “yoga challenge.” Have I lost weight? I don’t know, I don’t ever weigh myself. I rely on how far down I can bend, or how good my clothes fit. I feel good, with pangs of strangenesses pummeling my body. A migraine, … Continue reading the finite self is a lie and I’m yawning
The start of Fall, Libra season. The last time anything felt “normal” was in March—Pisces season, when the planets were in retrograde and I was at a bar at midnight on a Wednesday after a shift at work. Today, I am unemployed, sober, and looking … Continue reading they’ll clap when you’re gone
I did it—again, I left two out of three social media(s). I feel triumphant and lame, mostly because it seems like such a benign thing to "accomplish." But, my everything is suffering. I feel beat down and most people know me as the smiling woman … Continue reading bye Instagram. bye Facebook. sup Twitter?
Yes folx, I did it. I made the move. It was hard to do it, mostly because I thought I was losing integrity. But, quite the opposite feeling took over me, and I am so grateful to be doing this. I already write daily, so—that … Continue reading Patreon!?
Billie Holiday plays from the record player, and my tie-dye shirt is baffled at the contrast, at the serenity of the music and the chaos of the traffic below, where does the clarinet fit in? Fears, well they, they are the end of everything. I … Continue reading a day like any other day
barren fur soft cadaver in pieces a puzzle, a lantern in eyes instead of candles to move around a house you’ve already memorized, lipped red a scandal in the bedroom, a subtlety in grocery aisles— unmarked but stolen from, you are a bank robbed and … Continue reading a day without pain
there are certain things that stick, San Gabriel Valley things, that sink into a poem… this is a drink and a cheers for a moment in time, I want to leave behind— Valley Blvd., 605 duck farm, Bassett, unincorporated “town,” in or near or alongside La … Continue reading pungent
google search me under Ingrid Calderon and the girl with no eyebrows appears, crooked stance, straight smile—a carving in the fold of her cleavage/ google search me under Ingrid M. Calderon-Collins, and the woman with eyebrows appears,spine erect, crooked smile—a carving in the fold of her cleavage/ still, everything isunhappiness and happinessstill lives in the breasts of my laughter,poison sometimes cures, and when it doesn’t,it resembles … Continue reading google search me
speak basic and listen to the flowery poets of our time, the ones that say so much with so much and so much and say nothing at all. the ones that hate Bukowski but love Cheesecake Factory, yes you, I see you, but I still … Continue reading allusion of illusion